Dentists, Lights, and Eight Hours of Insanity

So, today was another day in the life of Chewbode. I sat through eight hours of insanity. Let me explain what insanity is:

  • Doing something that you didn’t realize you were going to do until someone (usually a more powerful or higher status person than you) tells you that you are going to do something, and you know nothing about what you are going to do. Oh, and you’re doing it tomorrow. For eight hours. That’s insane.
  • Pretending that you like doing something for the sake of projecting an image to others, who probably don’t care whether you like it or not, but you don’t know if they care, and you still want to impress “just to be on the safe side”. Insane.
  • Telling yourself that Cheeze-Its are only a “recreational hobby”.
  • Complaining for 5 years that “this is broken”, or “this needs adjustment”, and being ignored. As soon as the guy next to you mentions it, it gets taken care of. I am a master at invisibility! Insane.
  • Getting slowly finger-fucked by the establishment for years, then being told you are not their type. Insane.
  • Trying to find the part number for your car’s rear taillight’s light bulb. Insane.

NOTICE: The above commentary in no way reflects the author’s, displease, dislike, disdain, or any other types of dis- as it relates to work, his boss, his co-workers, the people he despises, or the bacon-serving fuckers that think they know what the fuck is going on in the author’s life, but don’t, and frankly, don’t come off as “knowing” well enough to fool the author. In fact, they insult the author’s intellect. Fucks.

Ahh. That’s better. Moving on…

My wife calls me today at work and tells me that another Milk Dud has wrestled another crown from her mouth. So, she’ll be taking the day off tomorrow to try to get a hold of a dentist that can glue that thing back on. Not a good way to start the weekend, indeed. Good luck to her in her hunt. I hope it gets fixed before the weekend, for her sake.


Sick Thought of the Day: Razors unzipping the nipple.

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